Growing up gifted is not cool, it's not what you want for anyone.

It is scary, it is lonely and it makes you doubt your own sanity.

That is how my first book started, it was a letter to my parents to tell them I was like my Nan or not quite true I was better than my Nan. Sounds awful, like I am blowing my own trumpet here and I am not. She would be the first person on this planet to agree if she was still with us.

Some of the things that happened to me as a child, only happen in horror films for you.

When you're 8 or 9 years old and you feel what you think is your little brother climb in your bed for a cuddle, when you feel the sheets lift and the bed move, when you feel the warmth of another person next to you, and then you turn over and there is no one there, well can you imagine that happening to you now even. Let alone as a little girl.

I could go on and tell you hundred's of things that happened to me, but I don’t want to write about it anymore, I let all that go when I wrote my book "Breathing Rainbows".

There was another reason I wrote it. Not just as an explanation to my parents but as I met so many people that had gifts, so many people that were afraid and alone and had no idea what was happening to them so off they went to book shops and the like and read. The problem being that when I did the same I never understood half of what they were saying. When I was explaining things to people I made them understand and a few said Lorraine please write this down. Hence the book at first had the subtitle of "Keeping it Simple"

All my life I had people waking me in the night I had people whispering to me all the time too. It really doesn’t shock me why so many people like me for many years were locked away in institutions. Treated as the mentally ill. When you even doubt your own sanity is it any wonder that others do too. I was one of the lucky ones; my Nan rescued me as a gifted child. She helped me learn to protect and shield before I even started school. My partner Keith rescued me from the loneliness of being an Indigo child and adult. I still have times when I want to sit and cry my eyes out for no apparent reason, Time's when I don’t fit anywhere. Time's when I want the planet to cease turning, or at least let me get off. Please I do not want anyone’s sympathy, this is the way it is for me. This is the way it is for many Indigo's worldwide. One of my new best friends is also indigo, he doesn’t realise what a difference he has made to me. Just knowing he can text me and say indi day Lorraine or I can him it is such a relief. Just knowing there is another person close at hand that really does get it, well there isn’t a feeling like it.

Keith has been amazing and read everything he could find on Indigo's and is big enough to admit he still would never understand how at times I feel. No one can, not unless they are like us.

Great big square pegs that people want to ram in small holes. That's us to a tee really.

So don’t be telling me you wish you had grown up like me, as you really don’t. Wish you were gifted maybe as an adult. But even then there are times when even that gets too much.